Update from Khaya Dinsky

12th Jan 2009 Not a good day : Well, I made it to physiotherapy. Had an anxiety attack on the way, but not as bad as when Simha was with me. I knew she was "safe" at home.I went up to the third floor where physiotherapy is - everything except the shelter and the bathrooms was closed. So I went back down. Turns out they"re using a room on the first floor - not taking a chance that the roof of the shelter may or may not be strong enough up on top. And of course, a lot of the stuff they usually do, they can't - one because the equipment is upstairs and two ,because they can't put you into a position that you can't get out of and run fast. One guy that was having treatment on his legs had his pants off and was really worried what he would do if he had to run. Luckily for him there wasn't a siren again until several hours later. When I got home, I had a headache, pressure in chest, breathing difficulty and a twitch (tic) in my lip. It has been coming and going all day.all of them. It had gotten a little better, after I took acamol(like tylenol) and had a nap, but then the siren went and woke me up and it got worse again. This time the siren was around 1pm/ Hit a house right near my school, like a block away. No one was hurt, but that is really a miracle. The house was really badly damaged. A woman that had just put a kid into her car and buckled her into her carseat, jumped out of the car and got the kid out and they ran into the house next door)lucky she picked the right house. The car was really badly damaged and there were metal poles that had come from the rocket in her seat and in the kid's seat. People here are more and more convinced that we are seeing miracles every day - the amazing number of near-misses, of rockets that land in empty lots instead of the nearest house, the people that managed to get to safety seconds before rockets hit and explode. As someone put it : "nissim gluyim" - observable miracles. There were several sirens in Beersheva today and Shlomo is there. So everythime they say there is a siren there, my heart dips. There were a bunch of those today. Shlomo says that where he is , there really isn't anywhere to run. He's on the ground floor of a two-story building. The safest place is the stairway. Simha was supposed to have school tomorrow. Her teacher had called yesterday to say there's school tomorrow for the twelfth graders. I told Simha to forget it. She called her teacher a little while ago to find out exactly how things will work tomorrow but the teacher said that the homefront command did not approve their school as being safe so they are not going back to school. That's good. Because otherwise, this teacher would have told her daughter's teacher that she should tell the principal and the ministry of educaation that I don't trust them with my daughter's life. Anyway, if I don't feel better later, or tomorrow, I'll probably call one of the trauma help lines. There are lots of them available to residents of the south. I'm hoping for a quiet night. You know, people here don't say "have a good day". People say "have a quiet day(or night)" and the answer is not "you too" the answer is "amen". And over shabbat when people say "shabbat shalom"(peaceful shabbat) the answer now is "amen" and people understand it much differently than usual. Khaya

Latest two updates from Khaya Dinsky

12 January 2009

It's 6:10 am. We're after our first siren of the day.

I was only half asleep when it went because Lucky was making funny noises and I kept telling her to be quiet. I didn't remember in my sleep that Lucky has the sharpest hearing of any of our dogs and has done her own version of the siren(wierd noise)when there wasn't a siren and she's always right. So I told her to shut up and then the siren went. 5:45am.Simha and I were out and down in seconds. Lucky saved me the wake up  time and the time it takes when you're asleep to understand that the siren is real and not in a dream.

When the sirens go in the middle of the night(or very early in the morning)not everyone wakes up and some of the neighbors that usually come out into the stairs don't.That's the most dangerous. What if it' falls here??

Anyway, we didn't hear a boom. They say on the radio it was a false alarm. Lucky's behavior says otherwise. But I don't really care.No one got hurt so it's fine with me.

Anyway, we waited and then everyone went home. Simha and I wait longest. All of a sudden we hear a door unlocking. Michael, a neighbor that never comes out(second floor, north side)came out to leave for work. He's always telling everyone that he works so hard and he leaves earlier than anyone else. I said:"Good morning" and he chuckled. Thought that was funny.

Just surrealistic.

Here are some more rocket funnies for you.

One of my friends says she's gaining lots of weight(lot of us are)Anyway, this is her explanation:"One graad for Ashkelon, four cookies for me. Her husband was supposed to start a workshop to stop smoking. But he called and cancelled. He told them :"this isn't a good time to stop smoking"

One of our neighbors' kids  lost her shoe on the way down with the siren and as Simha was running, she grabbed it and threw it to her/

Yesterday, I called all of my pupils again to say hi and see how they are and where they are. The kids were happy to talk. Some more than others. The parents also were happy to talk. One mother told me, that her son that hates school and is often truant "wants to go to school already"/

Another mother told me that she doesn't think she'll send her son to school even if we reopen as long as there are rockets fallling. She said:" you may not know this, but it fell on  T school and the next day on Q school!"" She was talking about the ones across the street from me. So I told her I know all about them. They were right across the street from me and she said;"no way!"

Yesterday we had a cat situation. There's a cat that lives in my building. All the neighbors except for me feed her. Since the rockets have started falling like rain, they all stopped(some are away, some want the stairwell free for running and standing)so I've been feeding her. Since Saturday afternoon no one saw her. But we kept hearing her. Finally Simha "found" her. The cat was on an awning one floor down from me. The neighbors there are away up north for the duration. Next door to them, no one answered when I knocked. Apparently, when the rocket hit across the street on Shabbat and we helped the elderly neighbor, the cat got in and when it wanted to go out the door was closed, so it went out the window. I tried lowering a chair or a cat carrier to her from my window but she was afraid and I didn't have patience.I kept imagining the siren going and me dropping it and running and leaving the window open and one of my cats jumping or falling out. At some point, I saw light by the elderly neighbor. She let me in and I opened the window and called the cat and she's fine.

I just want this to end. I want to air out my apartment. I want everything back where it belongs. I want to go back to work and not be afraid that there'll be a siren on the way or during the school day.

Yesterday when I walke the dogs, I saw the building that got hit on shabbat. Actually, the hit was in the garden of the building. There is a large hole in the wall that has been plastered up and you can see lots of holes from the schrapnel all up the side of the building. And the lower part of the wall is black  like from a fire.

I have to go to physiotherapy. I haven't gone since this "situation" started. But my neck hurts. I keep telling them I'll come if it's quiet and then just before I have to go there's a siren.

Hoping for a quiet day

Khaya

11 January 2009 

Hi.

I'm starting this letter at 12:19pm on Sunday.I was about to start it just before 12. I was going to write that it's been quiet so far and that it's a lovely day and if I weren't so scared, I'd probably take advantage of being off from school to go for a walk down to the beach. But just as I sat down at the computer, the siren went. We heard the boom, but don't know where in town it landed. Certainly not as close to us as yesterday.They say it landed "in open areas" and there were no injuries, that's what's important.

Okay, I woke up with the radio broadcasts at 6am, as usual. I will be so happy never to hear again :Darom 101/5fm,Darom" That's how they start at 6am and end at 12pm.

Went back to bed and slept some more, until the radio started a siren and stopped in the middle. Turns out the siren was in Beersheva(landed on a car, no injuries, several shell-shocked) and someone somehow mixed the frequencies. About a half an hour later, Shlomo called to say that he's back in Beersheva. Now I have to worry about him again. Oish.

I stayed in bed watching tv and noticed that I have a tic in my left cheek. I'm assuming this is a stress reaction.

Got up and walked the dogs. Close to houses and short. Met two neighbors at the door to the building and we started speakin. Ruti ended the conversation by saying:"I'd better throw this garbage in the  the garbage bin before the siren goes." Only after I got home did I realize that that is not a normal thing to say or think, really.

My principal called today to see how I am. Nice. She actually went to school and was calling all the staff. Well, one person could make it from the office to the shelter in time.

The big topic today is school. They've started returning kids to school all over the south. Beni Vaknin, Ashkelon's mayor told them to forget it. He's not taking responsibility for sending kids to unprotected schools when rockets are still falling. Simha's teacher called last night that on Tuesday 11th and 12th graders in her school(just out of the city)are learning. I told Simha to forget it. The way to school is long and dangerous and the school is not protected with enough shelters.Do you think it's a coincidence that the rockets at Beersheva were at 7:30 when the kids there were on their way to school??

I don't think you can imagine it. My school has almost 800 kids/ If the siren goes, the kids run into the hallway and sit against the wall. There is a part of the hallway that has a second story. Also some parts that don't. The classes on the top floor don't have enough time to get downstairs, so they go under the tables. If you've seen the pictures of the schools and kindergartens that were empty when hit, it's clear to you that the tables are useless and that if a rocket hits an occupied classroom there will be dead children.

We have two bomb shelters in the school.They can hold about 100-150 kids. They are stuffy and hot. You can't really spend the day there and learn.

It's very Israeli to want to "get back to normal" and act like everything is "routine" and "okay"The truth is , that would be nice. I'm going stir-crazy. Bored but not able to concentrate in order to read or do anything useful.Can't go for a long walk.

We've closed off the bedrooms to keep the cats and dogs away from the windows when the siren goes. The blinds are closed and the windows taped. Supposed to make for less glass shards. In the living room, also, which is where wer are most of the time. Sleep there too. But we don't open the windows there to air out because there is a roof under us and the cats like to go out. What would we do if they're out and the siren goes????

just now the radio announced : siren in Kiryat Malachi siren in Kiryat Malachi/ The first thing you do is jump. The second thing you do is say to yourself, it's not here, it's in Kiryat Malachi.The third thing is to go in the other room and make sure there is no siren here as well. There have been times when they shot several rockets at the same time and the radio says them one after the other. So they could be saying "siren Kiryat Malachi and siren Ashdod " and it could also be here in Ashkelon. I almost missed one siren that way but luckily Simha was out the door and I ran after her yelling, I'ts not here it's not here and then realized that all the neighbors were also running downstairs and that I was hearing the siren in the background. Even when everything is okay, it takes me a

couple of hours for my heart to get back to normal and my head to stop hurting.

I hope the rest of the day will be quiet.

Khaya

 

Update from Khaya Dinsky

Hi to all.

We had a quiet night. I'm up as usual at a 6am when the "quiet wave" stops and the radio  starts talking. The radio is always on to Radio Darom because there was one time the sirens near us didn't go but the radio warning did, and a few times the radio warning went a few seconds before the siren.

Washed my hair(fully dressed) and had a sponge-bath in the shower - first the top half of me and them the bottom.Simha is still asleep.We had a quiet night.

Yesterday was a difficult day. Lots of sirens. Don't even know how many. Stopped counting.

Two of the hit were right across the street - the one that hit the school gym and the one next to it in the playground. I ofter walk my dogs in that park because it's close and pleasant. One of my friends always walks her dog there.

One or two of the sirens were during "the humanitarian ceasefire" that we give them every day. But still, it is quieter during those hours. So after it was quiet for an hour, Simha and I went out shopping. We walked the long way because there are houses to run into along the way, Simha was worried in a few places and so was I because in some we couldn't see the entrance. Both of us had anxiety attacks on the way to the local supermarket(an 8 minute walk).She got nauseous and felt her breathing get messed up, I had chest pressure and breathing difficulty. Then we got to the store. It was relatively crowded. There were lines of about two-three people at the cashiers. First I showed her where the safe room is, then we shopped.As quickly as we could.We heard other people telling each other what to do if the siren goes and to hurry up and shop so they could get home before the next siren. So , even if I'm a bit hysterical, I'm still within "normal" range.I had a stomach ache until we got home.Simha got another anxiety attack and almost fainted.

Among our groceries are things we never buy - Rescue Remedy from bach flowers to calm the dogs, one has become aggressive. I took some too. It helped a little, For the dogs and for me. We bought lots of bread, lots of snack food and sweets and stocked up on tea(We've drunk more tea in the last two weeks than we do in a year)These are things that help us calm down.

Also bought some snacks to organize a care package. Don't know yet if I'll send it with the people that are bringing to soldiers on the front or to soldiers that have been injured trying to protect us.

Today,Simha and I are going to TelAviv for the day. Our shul organized for us to see a play in Tel Aviv. I need to have a few hours where I'm not listening for the siren.We'll be home in time for Shabbat.

Shlomo says that friends told him that one of the hits in Beersheva the other day was 50 metres from where he lives there. First time I'm relieved that he's spending so much time with his father. His father told Simha that when Shlomo says he wants to leave, they lock him in, because they don't want him to go to Beersheva. With him it's especially important, because he doesn't take the sirens seriously and doesn't go somewhere safe. In any other circumstances, I would call the police to rescue him.

Hoping for a quiet day and Shabbat Shalom.

Khaya